Talk To Listen

One of the main underlying themes of this blog is to have happy children. An important factor in the happiness of a child is their self-image that they possess. A positive self-image requires a strong internal foundation for children to feel good about themselves. While all children are going to encounter individuals or events that might sway them away from feeling good about themselves, ultimately it will be their own personal self-image that will dictate how those external forces will impact them. 

A driving force in how children perceive themselves, is how they speak to themselves. This does not necessarily mean they are looking in the mirror and speaking to themselves, although many children do. It is often the dialogue that happens internally in their mind, which dictates how your child ultimately views themselves. 

As someone who has struggled with self-esteem and having a strong positive self-image, I have learned many skills to help address the issue. Children are still developing both mentally and physically, so it is much easier to utilize these skills for them at a young age, and develop a healthy level of self-esteem that they will carry throughout their lives.

Thus, self-talk becomes crucial for children. What they say about themselves in their inner dialogue and when describing themselves to others, begins to shape their beliefs about themselves. There are many tools that help utilize and create positive self-talk, which in turn begins to create an empowering self-image. The key, however, for it to make a lasting impact requires self-listening.

What Is Self-Listening

Self-listening is more than simply hearing the words which you speak to yourself. Rather, it is the understanding of the feeling that those words create. For example, your child might say “I don’t think I am good enough to do that.” More than likely your child is experiencing feelings that make them feel as though they are not capable and will result in them failing to put forth any sort of effort. 

Equally important is an example where you child might say something positive like “I am wonderful. I know I can do anything I put my mind to.” Although your child might be saying these words internally, if they are simply saying them to mask an underlying feeling of fear or concern, then the words are not impactful.

Therefore, it is important that any type of empowering self-talk that your child learns, they understand that it is equally important to self-listen to that specific self-talk. Their feelings will be their guidance system. If they are feeling good after using the empowering self-talk, then they likely have come to believe it and they know they are on the right track. If on the other hand, they do not feel good then that is a good sign that they need to re-evaluate what self-talk they are using. Then they can ask for help or try different self-talk.

How Powerful Can It Be

While self-talk and self-listening are wonderful, the goal is to ultimately make it automatic. More specifically if they can learn it at a subconscious level, then they will have a secure self-image that will allow them to face any level of adversity they might encounter. 

A way your child can use self-talk to feel good is by focusing on gratitude and love for themselves. This is powerful, because it releases the child’s magic in their body to take over and help their mind think and focus on whatever makes them feel good. As they begin to practice this over and over again, they can start to focus on seeing themselves doing or being whatever they desire. Then when they seem themselves succeeding they start to feel good. The end result is a powerful cycle that creates a strong long term level of self-esteem.

It is important that self-talk should be a tool your child uses everyday to empower their very being. Each day, you want them to spend some time focusing on telling themselves that they are capable of doing or being anything they desire. As they learn to believe that they are beautiful in their thoughts, actions, and being, they begin to realize that they are in control of themselves and their experiences. As children form a self-image from a young age, it becomes engrained within themselves, so that they grow to be happy, confident, and ultimately strong adults.

Your child will tell themselves that challenges, obstacles, or fears that come their way are not there to stop them. They are there to remind them that they have the power to push through and get closer to their goals and dreams. If your child feels good about themselves in the present moment, there is no telling what they will be able to achieve!


Rachna Patel is the founder of OH-KS Corporation, a company that creates one-of-a-kind programs and materials, to help children ultimately become happy, healthy, confident, have a strong growth mindset, and so much more. To learn more about their latest products, you can visit their website at www.OH-KS.com

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